I somehow stumbled across Divorce Family Mediation and Coaching via Instagram and was really inspired by the posts that I had seen. I contacted them via Instagram and set up an initial consultation, which was free and straight away I knew this service was exactly what I needed. As a mother of 2 myself experiencing separation, I knew that whatever happened within this process of separation I wanted our children to be as stable psychologically as possible. I knew we were going to have to coparent but I really had not idea how we were going to this in an amicable manner that worked for us. Especially as we live in different parts of the world.
Jan was absolutely made for this role, she is extremely knowledgeable in this field and was able to offer suggestions and advice that I feel has absolutely benefitted myself and the children. I have seen a change in the children’s father which I really wasn’t expecting, however it just goes to show what one can achieve when the appropriate boundaries are implemented.
I am really thankful that this service exists and I feel reassured that there is a sense of direction, this was an investment worth doing for my children.
I was struggling with how to establish boundaries during divorce with my ex-wife. I didn't want to neglect the co-parenting relationship or my kids but it was challenging to transition until I reached out for coaching services. Now, things run smoothly and our kids are feeling more at peace going between two homes.
Jillian has been great with my kids. They are gaining more
confidence after each session.
Eternally grateful for the progress we were able to make and the final outcome we reached with Jan's help. I was certain my ex would be adamant about going to court for custody, and while I was fairly confident things wouldn't pan out the way they wanted, I really didn't want to have to go through the process and dragging it out further (plus the funds it would take.) Jan was neutral, respectful and validating for both parties. I felt heard and I knew that my ex did as well despite things not going the way he had hoped with time-share, which was the game-changer. Jan had a way of validating his wants while still prioritizing our daughter's best interests to the best of her ability. She covered things I hadn't considered and presented possible situations in our future, thus enabling us to create a thorough and effective parenting plan that has already come in so handy to reference and fall back on. Should any adjustments be needed in the future, I will definitely be pushing to come back for additional services.
Our divorced family has been working with Jan for almost a year. Jan was able take us from daily fights to twice monthly coaching. We are doing a much better job to understand our individual strengths/weaknesses and learn to accept the strengths/weaknesses of the other house to find balance for the kids. Things are by no means perfect, but her coaching has brought us both to the table and kept the conversation going when we otherwise would have exploded and caused more fighting. I have hope by continuing to work with Jan we will stay on the path of good communication for the benefits of our children.
Jan was exactly the forward-thinking, solution-oriented person I needed in my camp while navigating through a high-conflict divorce transition. She provided me with various tools on how to deal with a high-conflict ex for co-parenting, including the setting of firm boundaries, creating a clear path forward, and most importantly helping me remain child-focused. She is a fearless and dedicated coach, and helped me in ways that therapists and attorneys could not. Her tactics have served me extremely well.
Jeff , San Diego
Jan is a godsend. I wish I met her sooner through my divorce process. She keeps me focused and sustained, and reminds me of our centralized goals. She helps me re-iterate the importance to my HCCP regarding keeping the children at hand, rather than our individual needs or wants. She helps me remove my personal feelings and focus on my kids. Through this process, I also felt very validated in my struggles. My attempts at cohesiveness and positive coparenting were thwarted by manipulations and selfishness from my HCCP, and Jan helps me keep contained and reminds me of my true focus. I can separate my personal healing work from what my kids need so that I don't feel so enmeshed with them. I also have an immediate professional support in Jan to help me re-frame things when my girls are struggling, and to keep things child-centered rather than trauma-centered or emotionally charged. I have also come to learn that I am only in control of what I do, say, and behave with my girls. I cannot control what he does, and my biggest task is to remain stable, calm, consistent, and safe for my girls, regardless of what he does. He has very little power over me since I've worked with Jan.
Hannah , Canada
Jillian and Jan were an absolute pleasure and delight to work with in co-parenting coaching. They were always insightful, unbiased and measured in their approach to working with me and my co-parent. I always appreciated when they were supportive and constructive. They provided clarity on the coercive control and supported me in how the tactics my co-parent was using were inappropriate and not supportive of a healthy relationship with the kids or myself. I am more prepared than ever to seek legal counsel when needed and set boundaries with my co-parent.
Cheryl , Massachusetts
Jan helped me establish boundaries with my co-parent that I did not know were possible. She taught me the difference between productive co-parenting for my children, and dealing with a high conflict ex spouse's control tactics. I learned how to create clear lines of communication between myself and my ex, that most importantly, felt safe to me. After working with her, I feel more confident in myself, and have been able to focus on the most important thing, my children. I learned how to realign with my 5 core values, and have felt so much more calm and peaceful.
Kerry, North Carolina
I'm really happy with the help I received from Jan. I contacted Jan and Jillian a few months after the divorce was finalized, when my co-parent stopped taking the children to their agreed upon activities. When I saw how that event impacted my kids, I knew I needed help for them, and for me. At the beginning I was emotionally triggered by every piece of communication I received from the HCCP and was afraid to bring up issues because of how he would react. The weekly calls were so beneficial in helping me understand what I was experiencing, helping me understand the high conflict dynamic and how to stay out of it. I feel confident knowing that I can handle the high conflict communication that comes my way and how to stay out of his cycle. I feel like I have more emotional and mental bandwidth, which is helping me be a more patient mother to my children and better support them through it all.
I definitely feel more at peace and more confident in my communication with my coparent. While my situation isn't horrendous, it was SO helpful to have a third party assess my experience so that I don't feel crazy and isolated. Validation goes a long way in becoming less triggered and creating healthy emotional distance. Jan has been the most helpful person I have brought into my journey and I'm very thankful for that. I will most likely be calling again since my process is going to take a couple years.
I was having a difficult time coming to agreements with my co-parent. We were both emotionally reactive and caught in a power struggle. After working with Jan, I feel much more confident in handling high-conflict situations and how to emotionally separate from the outcome. Our co-parenting communications are more stream-lined, consistent and respectful. I also feel more capable of helping my son cope throughout the co-parenting process.
Ever since using mediation and fixing our parenting plan everything has been so much more relaxed. The girls even seem more relaxed. Love all the resources your platforms share. Thank you, Jillian.
Working with Jillian has been amazing. She fully understood the issues at hand with a very high conflict parent. Jillian also helped me better myself in communication with asking the proper questions in the proper way to not ignite the fire any more than what was occuring. I also gained further understanding on why a high conflict parent acts the way they do and how a proper response should be presented to shut down any false accusations or attacks from the other parent.
In addition, I learned to better communicate with my kids through the lessons and teachings that Jillian provided, which has led to my children being open more so with me during our conversations. The skills I have gained from Jillian, I have applied to everyday life, which has made a tremendous difference in communicating with anyone I come in contact with daily.
I highly recommend Jillian in every aspect of dealing with mediation or needing a co parenting coach in high conflict relationships.
When I first reached out to Jillian, I was in a very difficult spot, finding a balance in supporting the relationship between my son and husband and protecting him from unhealthy behaviors. Being married, I felt it was easier because I could put myself in the middle and referee as needed. Once we separated, and my husband filed for separation, it became much more difficult to navigate the cycle. Our sessions were eye opening and helpful. They trained me in a way that I could not have imagined on my own. Not only did it help me to communicate more effectively with my husband, but it helped me to change my perspective on the unhealthy behaviors in our relationship. I still go back and review our correspondence from time to time and think to myself, what would Jillian say to this? How would she respond? These reactions have helped me to not be as reactive but to take a position of power. My communication is more effective and confident. I still have a long way to go (our hearing isn’t until October), but I have changed in the last six months! I owe much of it to the help I receive from you. Thank you again!
Working with Jillian was life changing… that’s not too bold to say. My extremely high conflict ex messaged me daily and was causing me so much stress and emotional instability. Jillian helped work on me… regulating emotions and doing positive things to improve my outlook. Then we worked on responding to the daily messages my HCCP sent. It was a process, but I genuinely feel like I have a system in place to manage my emotions, document my HCCP’s behavior and put my child’s needs first. Very thankful I found Jillian… I only wish I’d found her sooner!
Jan really made sure I was ok inside while dealing with the verbal abuse. She helped me set boundaries with my ex and made me realize what I value the most. The manipulation tactics are so clear now, and I feel better able to respond to it. My children will have a well prepared mom in their corner.
Lana, North Carolina
I worked with Jan for 3 months in a lengthy litigation. I found her content on Instagram really addressed what I was experiencing and provided the educated psychology background. While I initially thought I would not need to use email or text between sessions, I found it invaluable in dealing with many situations. The end-of-session notes were also great in organizing thoughts and discussing. She boosted my confidence and improved my language in describing to lawyers and judges what the children and I have experienced. She is child-focused and really brings that to the forefront in her coaching. I can't say enough good things and will be working with her in the future.
Working with Jillian was incredibly helpful. I was struggling to identify ways to increase healthy communication with my co-parent and was having a difficult time getting solid ground under my feet with regard to the conflict cycle (e.g., seeing my role in it; identifying what parts were my responsibility versus the other person's responsibility). The continual feedback on everyday communication helped me identify ways my co-parent was using specific tactics to shift blame, increase conflict, and disrupt collaboration, and further helped me figure out helpful ways of holding boundaries and responding strategically to reduce conflict and maintain more inner peace. I now have clarity on the more subtle forms of coercive control, greater clarity on unhealthy dynamics within the prior relationship, and more confidence in myself (especially helpful given my emotional and interpersonal state after years of confusing, manipulative, and disrespectful behaviors with my ex) and my contributions as a parent. Jillian was supportive, responsive, accepting, and encouraging; she was also so effective at delivering direct feedback, challenging faulty thinking on my part, and providing pointed observations about interactional dynamics. I feel my son is better protected because of this; not only do we have a fairly solid parenting plan that supports his development and has been approved by the court, I also now have a sense of how to document further co-parent behaviors when they may be harmful, as well as how to continue co-parenting without falling into communication traps.