Some children have learned that survival is suppression. They sit quietly and say nothing happened, or that it wasn’t that bad. And family court professionals falsely assume everything is okay.  Custody shifts and children are stuck in unsafe homes.  But silence is not safety. Denial is not the truth. What looks like a child protecting a parent is far more often a child protecting themselves from further abuse and neglect.  They are the ones that have to go home to this paren

Court does not discover your story for you. If you don’t clearly and deliberately present what is happening in your child’s life, the court will default to fragments: partial records, third‑party impressions, and assumptions made under time pressure. Judges are not investigators. They rule on what is placed in front of them. That is why only parents can build their narrative for court and why failing to do so leaves critical context invisible. Your attorney won’t do it for yo

How to recognize the patterns, and what to do next. There’s a quiet kind of loneliness that lives inside a coercive marriage. It’s the feeling of walking on eggshells in your own home. The way your chest tightens when you hear their car pull into the driveway. The voice in your head whispering, “Don’t make it worse… just get through the night.” You tell yourself things aren’t “that bad." You tell yourself every marriage has problems. You tell yourself you’re strong enough to

When co-parenting involves coercive control, children can experience emotional, psychological, and even physical harm. Courts have a long way to go in recognizing that patterns of manipulation, neglect, and control indicate parental unfitness. Since most court professionals aren’t trained in psychology or coercive control, here are behaviors to look out for when it comes to documenting your case or showing how your coparent may be unfit.  Here are 12 Signs of an Unfit Coparen

In coercive dynamics, the line between protection and punishment can get blurry. What looks like distance might be safety. What feels like silence might be regulation. And what sounds like “honesty” might actually be intimidation. Many trauma responses and coercive control tactics look identical on the surface, but they’re fueled by completely different intentions. The difference isn’t in what   the person does. It’s why  they do it. Let's break down the psychological behavio

In family court, one of the most damaging confusions is between a victim of abuse and a person with a victim mentality. On the surface, both may appear distressed, reactive, or emotional. But psychologically, they operate from completely different places, one from survival, the other from manipulation. Understanding this difference isn’t just semantic. It determines whose voice gets believed, whose evidence gets minimized, and whose narrative shapes the court’s perception of

Divorcing someone who operates through coercive control isn’t a “high-conflict divorce.” It’s not two people struggling to communicate or...

When you’re co-parenting with someone who uses manipulation, name-calling, or insulting as a tactic, it’s easy to get pulled into their...

In a coercive control dynamic, children often live in two very different emotional worlds. With the coercive parent, emotions are...