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Why Separating Siblings For Parenting Time is Detrimental to Their Health and Well-Being

Siblings are bonded by a special bond that cannot be broken. They grow up together, share memories and experiences, and form a lifelong connection. Separating siblings during a divorce can have long-lasting and harmful effects on their relationship, development, and well-being. Many times it’s the high-conflict co-parent who wants to separate the children from each other for their own selfish needs.

In this blog, we will explore why siblings should not be separated in divorce custody and the reasons the high-conflict co-parent attempts to split up the kids for individual parenting time, and why we highly recommend this not be agreed upon for the sake of the children.

Here are 4 reasons children should not be separated for individual parenting time:

  1. Loss of Support System: Siblings provide emotional and psychological support to each other. When they are separated, they lose this crucial support system, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. This can have a negative impact on their mental health and overall well-being.

  2. Trauma: Separating siblings can be traumatic, especially for younger children. Children who are separated from their siblings may experience grief, anger, and confusion, which can lead to behavioral and emotional problems.

  3. Damaged Relationships: Separating siblings can lead to a breakdown in their relationship, making it harder for them to reconnect later in life. This can have a lasting impact on their bond and affect their future relationships. This can also create a greater divide and lead to long-lasting sibling rivalry.

  4. Loss of Memories: Siblings grow up creating memories together. When they are separated for parenting time, they are unable to create new memories and may feel a sense of loss for their shared experiences.

When it comes to co-parenting with a Narcissist, they have a grandiose sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others. In a family setting, a narcissistic parent may try to separate and bond with their children individually to fulfill their own needs for power, control, and validation.

Here are 4 reasons why a high-conflict co-parent might try to bond with each child separately:

  1. To Gain Control: By separating and bonding with each child individually, a narcissistic parent can exert control and manipulate the children, making them feel dependent on the parent. This helps the narcissistic parent maintain control and power within the family dynamic.

  2. To Boost Their Ego: A narcissistic parent may use their children as a source of validation and boost for their own ego. By bonding with each child individually, the parent can receive praise, attention, and admiration, which they crave.

  3. To Pit Children Against Each Other: By separating and bonding with each child individually, a narcissistic parent can create a sense of competition and division between siblings. This can be used as a means of control and manipulation, with the parent playing the children against each other.

  4. To Create Dependency: By separating and bonding with each child, a narcissistic parent can create a sense of dependency and obligation in the child. This can make it harder for the child to assert independence and stand up to the parent, which is what the narcissistic parent desires.

In conclusion, a narcissistic parent's need for power, control, and validation can drive them to separate and bond with each child individually. Separating siblings during a divorce can have serious and long-lasting effects on their relationship, development, and well-being. It is important for parents and the court to consider the best interests of the children and ensure that siblings are kept together in custody arrangements and that the high-conflict co-parent doesn’t request time solely with one child. Keeping siblings together allows them to continue to support each other, maintain their bond, and create lasting memories.


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